new year, new blog.

Decided to make life a little easier:

http://blog-two-point-oh.blogspot.com/

So lately the topic of marriage has been coming up in conversation, although no one I know directly, or speak to often, is actually getting married....

I wondered, what makes a marriage works. Here are some interesting points I thought were of importance to consider.

 1. Sexual orientation - obvious, yes. But from what I'm learning from others lately, sometimes your partner may have a different sexual preference... and could be hiding it. (not surprised, but that's society).

 2. Religion - Although I don't believe in any one religion, or in the concept of religion, I think that this is important point to compare, as religion is the "way" someone lives. It's the moral or path or beliefs by which someone lives their life.

3. Children - Face it. If one person doesn't want children, this should be a big warning sign. Don't force someone to have children... or you will be disappointed. Also, you should not give up your beliefs on children in order to be with someone.

4. Communication - If you can't talk to someone about ANYTHING, then what are you going to talk about 50 years from now?

5. Smoking - Smoking (nicotine) is an addiction. You can't expect someone to just stop this because you want them to. It's one of those things you live with, or you don't.

.... will add when I think of more.... 

i'm on the pursuit of happiness. i'll be fine once i get it, i'll be good.
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: kid cudi - pursuit of happiness

It's hard to believe December has arrived already. Christmas is in a week. Where did the time go?

It's been a weird year. Many things have and have not happened. I feel like I've changed my mind and ambitions have flip-flopped back and forth so many times in the last twelve months. I think it's because I'm realizing more and more that certain things aren't as I perceived them to be, and sometimes I try and get rejected, or things don't work out the way I thought they might. Maybe real life has come earlier than before, and hit me with reality. I think it also comes from talking to other people... and how they've gotten to where they are, etc. I'm finding myself living in a "fantasy" world, that I can't get out of. Just living it moment by moment now I guess. 

someone try to classify, a broken heart and twisted minds so i can find someone to rely on.
Now Playing: paramore - misguided ghosts

I'm going away for a while
But I'll be back, don't try to follow me
'Cause I'll return as soon as possible
See I'm trying to find my place
But it might not be here that I feel safe
We all learn to make mistake

And run
From them
With no direction
Run from them, from them
With no direction

I'm just one of those ghosts
Travelling endlessly
Don't need no road
In fact they follow you
And we just go in circles
Now I'm told that this life
And pain is just a simple comprimise
Ao we can get what we want out of it

Someone try to classify, 
A broken heart and twisted minds
So I can find someone to rely on

So run
To them, to them
Full speed ahead
Oh you are not
Useless
We are just

Misguided ghosts
Travelling endlessly
The ones we trusted the most
Pushed us far away
And there's no one role
We should not be the same
But I'm just a ghost
And still they echo me
They echo me in circles

---

 I've hardly had a moment to myself to take a breath or a "me-moment" to enjoy the things I want to enjoy, to have a good conversation, to feel emotion, to actually consider what *I* want. I feel like I've been living through life on auto-pilot. Lately I'm getting reminded about things I've been missing out on, experiences and life moments that I think can probably only be experienced in my twenties, like travelling, relationships, heartaches, meeting new people, new hobbies, being independent, etc. Things that I'm kind of scared to admit that if I don't experience those things now or soon, that I won't know how to deal when it hits me later on, y'know? I feel like I'm a little behind on life, especially when finding out people are getting married, having babies, travelling abroad, finding new careers, embarking on new journeys. 

A friend of mine, of the "new" variety, has seriously hinted that there's something "wrong" with me that's preventing me from I guess moving past this stasis point. He suggested I get some serious "medical" help, or at least take a class or find someone to talk to... just to learn to talk to someone. 

too many times i have wanted to turn around and walk away.
Mood:  don't ask
Now Playing: susie suh - all i wanted

Too many times I have wondered
What all the trying is for
You come around, I feel so down, I’m gonna to drown
Cause I know that your falling short

But do you know it doesn’t change
The way I feel about you at the end of the day
Cause I know, that all I want is what you got
All I want is what you got

And too many times I have wanted
To turn around and walk away
Knowing deep inside, you can’t provide
What I need from you anyway

But do you know it doesn’t change
The way I feel about you at the end of the day
Cause I know, that all I want is what you got
All I want is what you got

I tell you that I wanna go, but I wanna stay {x3}
I wanna stay, I wanna stay, I wanna stay
But I know I’m gonna to lose myself this way

But do you know it doesn’t change
The way I feel about you at the end of the day
Cause I know, that all I want is what you got
All I want is what you got
But this moment is all I’ve got
It’s all I’ve got

---

 I'm very random. My moods change every 15 minutes and my attention flies from one thought/idea/visual to the next. Which could explain my internet browsing habits. I like the visuals at maximum, and the content short and sweet (for the most part). I use Google and Wikipedia addictively and probably could not live without it. I've been browsing friend's of friends and random blogs for no particular reason. This is probably pretty creepy (as I would it weird for someone to ADMIT to me that they read my blog, without me fully knowing my audience), but it's a good exercise in the human condition. I think this is why people flock to online games like WoW or go through dating websites/forums... NOT THAT *I* would ever consider these appropriate venues for socializing, but what I've learned from reading these blogs is that you are not alone/unique. The feelings you feel and the events you go through are not isolated for you. Which is a good thing. If someone else has been through similar heartbreak, or similar love, why not share in those emotions, and learn from their mistakes or lessons/words of wisdom?

I'm a flight risk when it comes to any kind of human interaction/communication. I hate hate hate confrontation. At the same time, I tend to go with the easy way out: avoid, avoid, avoid. If a relationship isn't working out, or becomes too intense, I walk. I think I'm too susceptible to finding flaws... for the sake of finding flaws. :S. *sigh*. I had a conversation with a very good guy friend of mine (not one I have ever thought romantically of) about the fact that I'm "picky". :P. LOL. I'm probably in denial, but I really don't think I'm picky. I mean... you're attracted to who you're attracted to, for reasons you can't really decide one way or the other. Basically you can't choose who you love (in that there will be some ethereal attraction that cannot be explained through physical/material/tangible reasons).  If you don't feel it, you don't feel it. Maybe I'm wrong.